Friday, July 18

Man, oh Man. I'm Feeling Unwell.

Friends of mine know I have perodic bursts of inactivity and depression. This is when my facade of happiness with myself and my sarcasm fall in on themselves, revealing a deep, seething hatred for the world. Why does it have to be so goddamn boring? Why must I play the Game? Why must I be that way? Why shouldn't it just be the music that matters? Well, there comes a time when one must face said music. it's a cruel ruse. It's a momentary escape. Movies are escapes. Books. Stories. They're all alike. They fashion whimsical tales of adventure with easily visible villains, where the bad guy loses while good guy gets the girl and saves the day. Recently, it's been more of the anti-hero than a genuine one.

I saw the Dark Knight today. It wa a good movie. But for me, that's what movies are. I see through them. They are just movies. Their message of how justice is blind and somehow people rely on others to do what they find unsavoury for the "greater good" is pathetically boring. Brooding individuals may take solace in that, but I'm not one of those kinds of brooders.  The message of the Joker being alone in his mindset were only partially right. While no singular person is the harbinger of chaos, it's the little things that add up.

The business man that cuts off the mother of five on the highway, causing her to slam on the brakes, smashing the rear of her car into the front of the one behind her. The mailman that drops an envelope containing a paycheck or love letter and forgets about it because "it wasn't important." The neighbor that shoots your dog. The cousin in rehab after years of smack and theft from family members. It isn't just one man. It's the darkness in ourselves. Everything we do has an adverse effect on everybody else. Don't let someone else hurt you. If you don't want true evil to win, you can't let it get to you. If a store has tom close early, it was for a reason. And even if it wasn't, what would it matter? What can one do?

And I'm not just talking about morality, either. Story in general. Lives are boring and generally lifeless. There's no more room for adventure in the world. There's none left, either, so good thing. There is nothing left unexplored by humanity. We have infested every nook and cranny of this globe. What about man vs. man? Good vs. Evil. An intersting point. I've already said how there's no real villain in the world. But why shouldn't bad win? It's easier to be, certainly. But there isn't a bad guy to fight. If you can apply a face to bad, you can do the same to good and you've got yourself a movie. You never can, though. Life isn't that intersting. No one ever is either. The only excepton I can think of was Hitler, but he's been gone a while now. Inspiring as he is, people are hardly up to a similar task. So we watch. We read. We live vicariously through characters while reading or watching T.V. We know nothing else.

But I have the distinct sense of hope. Something odd is about to happen. Something extraordinary that will buck the trends. Normal things like oil crises or religious wars will stop as something will rear it's head, be it good or bad. Change is coming, foundation shaking change that will warp the way we interpret information and see life and all of its idiotic nuances. I wait for this day. Until then, I will continue my cycle of depression/kickassery and hopefully write something that means something, anything, one day.


Jarv said...

Was Hitler really capital E Evil? That is a simplistic view of the events that I wasn't taught at school.

Other than that? Yeah, I wrote alot of this sort of thing when I was your age. Then I died a little more inside and it's just a lingering irritation. Maybe that'll go soon too.


WildFox500 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WildFox500 said...

Things don't have to be epic to be worthwhile. Goofing off with your friends is something anyone can enjoy, and that's enough. Life isn't about scaling a new mountain every five minutes. It's about enjoying what you have without condemning yourself to stop reaching higher altogether. At least, I think it is. It might be about finding the world's comfiest underwear, or somewhere in between. Waiting too hard for the next groundbreaking conflict makes it boring when it actually gets here. Focus on what you have now, and I think something more satisfying will naturally develop from it.

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