Monday, February 8

It was snowing and very foggy.

We had a metric shit ton of bad weather. The whole town was out of their gourd, panicking. It's amusing to me, being from a place where a foot or two of snow at a time is nothing special. I dunno. I always liked the cold and the snow.

There were also people that decided to go out in the stuff, wearing everything from a t-shirt and shorts to full snow gear, as though they were living in Alaska, three layers of clothes and all that. Look,  if it's not snowing and it's just cold now, all you need is long clothes and a heavy coat. Flip-flops aren't a good choice mate. I don't even care if you're wearing a Cowboys hat.

Thursday, December 3



It's So Simple

I was spending a lot of time with my family recently. I went on Thanksgiving break, miserable as usual. I don't like breaks that much. I'm either done with it or I'm not, it's not like a job or career. I want finish it and take my break, however long that is. Anyway, I went home for the time that we give thanks for stuff.

I guess I should be thankful for a lot of things. I should be thankful for knowing so many interesting people, being friends to many of them. I should be thankful I've had it so easy all my life; it's all just been one kickass ride with minimal responsibility on my part. I mean, I've had a few things that I could cry about, some stuff that made it a little hard. But whatever burden that stuff had on my soul is gone, if it ever existed. I should be thankful that people take it easy on me. That they're careful not to hurt my feelings. That they want to avoid awkward social situations. I've got nothing to say about that.

I have a lot of things. I should be thankful for that. I should be thankful for my possessions that keep me amused, that distract me from feelings I can't get rid of. I should be thankful for familial love. Hahah. That one is amusing. I know some in my family who would just as easily throw me under the bus to save their own skin. Though, for every one of them, there is another polar opposite. So I am thankful for that.

Still, I felt unhappy. And I felt that being unhappy somehow entitled be to not be grateful for anything. I believe a part of that; that nothing is really worthwhile if your miserable.

We went to some pitifully shitty light display that is held at "the park" in town. There were a bunch of little scenes depicted.

My bros and my sister ran about, falling down a few times and complaining about how awful it all was and that I didn't want to be there. My mum's response was "Be fucking festive so we can take a goddamn picture!" My dear mum.

I, meanwhile, was completely unconcerned with silly conventions like composition and took pictures catch-as-catch-can. They didn't turn out so well. Some ended up so bad that they looked vaguely artistic.

Some of the displays, though were unintentionally entertaining.

Anyway, it was a good time; everyone was miserable. While there, though, I stumbled upon a display with "JOY" in giant red letters. I looked at it for a while, then I looked past it off into space, like when one is deep in thought. I thought about it a lot, standing there. Obviously, there wasn't much intended meaning behind it; this is a podunk town with simple people living in it. "JOY" just meant exactly that.

I thought about it more than I feel comfortable saying, (about ten minutes, I stood there looking like an idiot). But then I realized that the message shouldn't be complicated. To try and glean any more of a meaning from it would be useless. "JOY" just meant joy. It's a simple message. It's probably one of the few intangible concepts you can boil down to three letters. Eventually, what I got out of it was that I should just think simply. Some things just work. Some things just don't work. Just be happy, regardless. And, more importantly, make other people happy, too. There are a lot of people that have a lot less than me and are perfectly happy, sharing good times and noodle salad with one another. I also know people that have a lot more than me and aren't nearly as happy as they could (or should) be.

My awful emotions that I hate letting out so much didn't seem to matter anymore. I've got myself. That's all I need. A lot of people have the problems of existential crises or worrying about whether there is an afterlife or not. Is there a God? What do I mean? What is my significance? Well, I don't have those troubles. I don't think about those things. They don't bother me. As far as physical possessions go, I enjoy my things. I could go without them, though.

There was a fire alarm the other night and I slapped on my shoes, threw my phone in my pocket, and walked out with my laptop under my arm. Outside, I thought, "This entire building could explode and I will not be upset about anything." My dorm contains most of my earthly possessions. In reality, I could've gone without the phone and laptop, too.

The summation is this: I've got a lot to be thankful for. I've got a lot to be happy about. I have a lot to be proud of. So just be happy, why don't ya? I just feel good now.

And it's strange how such a simple realization like that can make you feel so much better. All the stress about school, relationships, money... they all just evaporated. The best part was that I'm sleeping properly again. Although, I am having a lot of bad dreams that wake me up at exactly the same time every morning. I won't over analyze, though. That's what usually caused me to feel so bad in the first place. And for a single caveat, that's not a bad one.

Do me a favor; tell the people that mean the most to you "Joy." Tell 'em to pass it on. It's a simple message, but it says a lot. There's nothing you've gotta worry about anymore, child. It's gonna be alright.

Thursday, November 19

Dylan Gets Saved!

When I was twelve, I was "saved" by a guy named Kendrick. He had to have been about forty, but he hung out and played tennis with teens all the time. I dunno.

Anyway, I went with my friend to his church because there was volleyball and I was a godless heathen and didn't care. At this point, I'd like to mention that I will never let my kid's friends take him or her to their church for any reason whatsoever. Nothing good ever came of it and you just left feeling hella awkward.

So I went with my friend because I mainly just wanted to hang out. I showed some other guys how to do hypnosis, but they left and I got left alone when my friend played volleyball. This cat Kendrick comes up and sits next to me. Not too close for me to be uncomfortable, though. That was coming up. He asks me if something was wrong. When I'm not doing something, I look sullen because that's just the way I am. I tell him that I'm just bored. He asks me why I didn't play volleyball. So I told him I thought it was boring. This elicited an "Ahhhhh, okay" from him.

After a few minutes of incredibly uncomfortable silence, he asks me if I got saved. I asked him, "From what?" He gave the typical adult chuckle of amusement at how dumb a kid is and asked if I had accepted Jesus.

Still not knowing what that meant, I reverted to the strategy I still use today; pretend like you know something and give short ambiguous answers. I told him that I hadn't yet. He asked me if I wanted him to help, or something like that. It doesn't matter how it came to be; the fact was that thirty seconds later, he was speaking mumbo-jumbo and rubbing my chest.

After a bit of that incredibly awkward shit, he told me to let out the word of God, to let Him speak through me.

I told him, "No thanks; I'll do it later."

He said alright, smiled, then tussled my fucking hair before returning to play volleyball.

Years later I learned that he was a complete homo. I shoulda known; pastel shorts kinda went out of style on middle-aged men.

Wednesday, November 4

Man Enjoys Fine Art

ME: "I was talking to a friend about how I wanted a gigantic painting of two girls scissoring one another. Haute couture."
HER: "Dylan, you crack me the fuck up."
ME: "You exaggerate; I'm a twat."
ANOTHER BROAD: "Oh my god. XD I need to tell one of the art teachers this. Or maybe not. Maybe I like being able to attend school here.. XP"


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