I've been here at school for five weeks already and it's been an incredibly unique experience, and, in many ways, something I was not unprepared for. I was never the one to weep into my pillow softly at night and wish I was back home with my family. In fact, I don't really miss a whole lot about life back home, save the ease of it and the girl I had to leave in order to be here.
Still, life's an utter bitch here. Being close to failing and, in some cases, actually failing multiple classes is a sobering experience. I knew that it would be hard for me here, considering that study habits are not something that come easy to me. I also figured out that you shouldn't pick classes half-heartedly. If you can barely maintain any interest in the field that you are supposedly going to go into, you can never hope to achieve anything more than a passing grade. I know now that I never want to pursue a career in the sciences. School is hard. And I know that freshman year is going to be the hardest for anybody. Realizing that, it's relatively easy for me to overcome this QUICK; ESCAPE! feeling that my mind is giving me. I know that it would not be prudent for me to back out, even though repercussions are merely monetary. I must stick with this study, even if it only for this year.
In economics, there is the concept of the opportunity cost; the cost of the next best, yet forgone alternative. I could've stayed back home, gotten a shitty job that exploited me, and bitched about my life while living day-to-day like all of my friends. But I didn't want that. Add to that fact that I have a girl I love; a girl for whom I would do anything and whom makes even the most insurmountable tasks easy. She makes my hard life easy. And I made a promise to her, that I would do well. She makes me want to be a better person, and so I shall.
I don't know what will happen in four years. I'll probably be like every other college graduate: working at McDonald's and looking for a job relating to their career choice, even though the economy is in the can. I might just go get some IT certification, since I seem pretty adept at that stuff. It is an extremely hot market and will only continue to grow throughout the next few decades, I'd wager. Whatever I do, I'll be surviving. I could back out now, but I won't. I've made promises, to others and myself, and while I don't think a degree makes someone more intelligent, knowledgeable, or a better person, it's still a trial. And an interesting experiment.
And I'll tell you what; I'll continue to go as long as I don't have to pay for it. Huzzah.
Namaste, babes and gents.